Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"Just Dinner" My rant for today, I will post something yummy in my next one.

Ok so one of the topics that I want to be able to share about on here is very sensitive and dear to me, my family.  My hubby and I met 10 years ago and have been married 9yrs this Feb.  We have had many ups and downs with our children’s other parents and this is what I want to share about today.  Today is my wonderful hubby’s 35th b-day.  I hope we have many more to share together!  And yes I married a guy 5yrs younger than me.  Any way we don’t do much and usually don’t request our children’s presence unless there is a “to do”.  There isn’t one today.  However over the weekend my step son made it clear he was going to ask about riding the bus to our home after school so he could have dinner with his dad.  I made no attempt to ask, suggest or speak to his mom (for future reference I will call her JM) about it.  Basically left it up to him to handle.  He’s 12 and some things have been changing so I just let things be.  Let me back track before I go on.  JM and I became friends a few years back and then do to the sensitive nature of our relationship some misunderstandings happened and we discontinued the relationship.  I never felt right about it but we proceeded to fight and things got ugly.  But last summer I decided enough was enough and offered the olive branch one more time.  She accepted and since last August we have been trying to mend our friendship and trying to do this shared parenting thing differently. 
  Soooooo here we are.  Joe (my stepson) took the initiative to be where he wants to be.  No adult discussions took place, we didn’t ask her, or encourage him to do what he did.  But this morning I received a text that made me cringe.  I hope it was nothing but seriously I have to address it with her.  So here’s the conversation in text
Me last night:
Hey I will see you in the morning but its Francis' birthday so no lunch tomorrow either! Sorry I'm such a flake

JM this morning:
Joe said he is riding the bus to ya’lls house today for his bday. For dinner, just dinner. Thats okay about lunch, peyton has hearing test today, I forgot.

Oh ok :) r u coming to Zumba?

Not sure, body pump kicked my butt really bad yesterday, I'm so sore!
Ok but the moving will help with the lactic acid ;)
No more responses from her and I called to check in after class (we Zumba together) and see if I was reading more into it.  No response on cell and still no return call an hour later.  I’m sorry but really in this day in age, cell phones are attached to folks all the time!  No I don’t believe all relationships have to have an immediate response but this is a very sensitive and personal relationship. It deserves attention.  But that’s me and how I handle things.
Ok so in that conversation do you know what irked me?
This:  For dinner, just dinner. 
REALLY!!!!! Have I just missed something?  We didn’t even ask for this!  I’m not a child, never assumed anything else was happening and why the F. does she feel she needs to reiterate that to me? (Sorry Jesus for cursing!)  See it even makes me loose my sense for a second.   Ok so I’ve just exploded.   I’m done.   Thanks for listening.  I’m sure it’s nothing but a couple of years ago I would have been pissed for days about it and probably not spoken to her about it.  I will though this time, that is if she ever calls me back.  I don’t know what’s going on with her, I do know that she has some big issues she is dealing with but this kind of communication will only hurt our relationship if I don’t say anything or if she really is trying to take a punch at us.  I really hate passive aggressiveness.  I know it too well; I’m pretty good at it so I recognize it right away! Hahaha at least I know it. That’s half the battle. So any way that’s my deal.
  I’m so excited that I have a stepson who is taking the initiative to really be in his dad’s life not just based on what the courts gave his parents. He is a rock star in my eyes and I hope that his parents (all of us) can live up to being the rock stars we all can be!  Our kids are all amazing and have such sticky situations to deal with and so many times I feel like we the adults act like we’re the kids.  I hope we have made some major strides in changing how we deal with these sticky situations.  I know it’s a process.


After reading this my sweet level headed hubby says “I think it’s nothing.  Probably just how Joe put it.”  Well isn’t that just like a man!  I gotta laugh and say that yes that did cross my mind.  That’s why I’m not mad but want to at least double check.  Love my man!

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